This is one of those hot off the “Post-Shower Press” stories! When inspiration and ideas come to me, I am famous in my family for running out of the shower (with my towel of course :)) dripping wet, scrambling to get words and thoughts on paper.
I was thinking of all of you today and thought sharing my own life purpose “shame” story might inspire you and invite you to be just a little more easy on yourself as you try to create a life, career and business you love!
In 2008, I first learned the bare bones of what now has evolved and grown to be the current version of the Life Purpose Clarity process I now offer to my clients from one my earliest teachers. She is a former Olympian, turned Tibetan nun, and I had my first session with her to get clear on my own life purpose.
Looking back now, I have wondered many times why I didn’t trust myself enough to move forward from the clarity. I was a year into my dance with illness and this period of my life still appears hazy.
So clearly, I didn’t have the physical strength or stamina take action at that time….and yet, looking back now I realize, I was being prepared by life even through my illness to be of service; so that I could understand exactly what my clients were going through.
A few years later in 2011, I met with my former teacher and had her facilitate the same process with me. The purpose that came out was uncannily similar in tone and message even if the actual words were different.
This is because, I believe that our life purpose is the grander, larger vision for our life. It encompasses the themes, lessons, gifts we came to explore in this lifetime.
Like most of you, I wanted to create a life and livelihood that was true and aligned to my life purpose.
The thing is, seeing my purpose in writing scared me a bit! It felt just a bit larger than life, and grand compared to how I saw “little old me” at that time.
At a meditation retreat in 2010, I channeled these words, “my purpose is to inspire and ignite passion with those who are SEARCHING 4 SOMETHING and help them find and live their purpose by following their INNER BLING®!
With this insight and my 2nd session with my own teacher, I puttered around with websites and a personal blog (for way too long), learned wordpress, obsessed about my logo and did all sorts of useless things, while never really moving forward on creating a business.
The thing is, what the life purpose process lacked at that time, which I have now added and modified was a short, clear way to help someone see with crystal clarity their WHY and HOW their specific challenges/pain had been preparing them each step of the way to live their purpose.
Even with all my training, self work, therapy, learning neuroscience, metaphysics, shamanic initiations and the corporate “get it done, make it transparent, efficient, no nonsense” mentality….I still got stuck!
I got stuck and sidetracked by my own fears, feelings of inadequacies and shame. The critical inner voices within me would say, “Who do you think you are, to teach others, how to find and follow their life purpose and speak their truth, when you still have so much to learn!”
I looked into even more trainings, certifications, coaching and ended up still feeling like it was never enough and that I would never get there.
I saw imaginary scenes in my mind of my first teacher of Mindfulness mocking my own abilities to stay mindful and present in my life when I lost it with my kids or partner. Crazy right!?
The thing is, I now realize even with almost 8 years of studying mindfulness and metaphysics and almost 13 years in corporate, I will ALWAYS be a student. That’s what will keep me grounded and humble and relatable, to the struggles my clients are going through.
One of the things I didn’t have also, was a community to share my fears and successes; to cheer me on when I took a baby step forward, and to catch me when I fell back 10 more! A community that would love me, even when I didn’t love myself or felt like a failure because I didn’t do that one thing I promised myself, I would do.
I have now created that community that you are part of right here, so that I and we, can hold sacred space for each other.
Here’s what I want to say to you with all my heart…
Don’t turn your clarity into a weapon and use it to hurt, and hold yourself back from moving forward!
All movement come from trusting and loving your whole self…even the parts of you that you feel ashamed and embarrassed about.
It is these parts of you that have a unique gift that you need to own and claim, to create that life, career and business you really want.
I now realize, that I had to go through every step of my own journey and process. Each of my struggles, fears, doubts, insecurities, shame and….(you fill in the blank here), was intended to help me understand exactly how my clients would be feeling as they struggled to find their own way.
How could I teach from a place of not truly knowing? It’s like teaching someone how to swim, while standing on the edge of the swimming pool!
Your own unique, messy, complicated, unpredictable journey with its own twist and turns had to be that way, so that your own people could find you.
Your particular pain has perfectly prepared you to live your purpose and share it with the world.
If you are still struggling to get moving on making that dream a reality, here’s my invitation to you! Keep moving sweet ones. Take that tiny step. Own your perceived imperfections! Fall back into the arms of supportive communities like this one, that are willing and ready to catch and hold space for you. You probably know by now, I no longer feel shame about my own story. I am grateful for every twist, turn and fall because it brought me here to living my life in service to you, doing work I LOVE! Take 30 seconds and write a comment below and tell me one tiny step you are willing to take this week. Even if it’s to just write a love note to yourself! Xo 
Pramilda, I love how clearly you explain your understanding that every step on your path turned out to be valuable. This week I’m going to reflect on how that is true for me, and appreciate each of my own twists and turns more fully.
Chara I truly believe this and it’s a core and foundational element to how I work with my clients. I love seeing the look on my clients faces (even through skype) when they suddenly realize the truth of this in their own life during a session. You have been and are being prepared every step of the way. I am excited for your discoveries. Xo
I love this Pramilda! Every time you write it inspires me to write because it really does come from your heart!
I’m starting to realise that our struggles are actually blessings in disguise. In fact the more experience we have with different struggles, the more we can help others around us in similar situations. That’s so powerful!
This week I’ll be writing the copy for my sales page and finding a good image or two to go with it. And also exploring the possibility of doing something similar offline with small groups of people. Exciting and scary at the same time 🙂 x
How awesome for you Joanna that you are realizing this. It’s a learned skill actually because we have been taught the opposite by the world. Once I figured out who my “people” were, as you are starting to in your work and business, figuring out what to say and how to say it in a way that will make sense to them and reach their inner truth…is actually easy as I am sure you will find. Because you are only speaking what you know. There is nothing to “figure out” Xo
Thank you for sharing authentically and helping people reframe their ‘struggle’ into something more constructive and purposeful.
Just the beginning Sabina! Thank you for all your support of my work. It truly means a lot to me.
negative thoughts!! are a big challenge – I am working along fine and, bang, I suddenly begin to question myself, my goals, the next baby step, everything!! I am frozen. Love notes to myself seems a cool way to remind myself that this too shall pass, that bumps in the road are necessary and expected. Thanks for the tip!
Thank you Linda. Yes, I am going to teach you a totally different way to work with those thoughts. When we no longer need to fight and silence them and can learn to claim the gift each one has, WITHOUT buying into their old stories…there is huge power and freedom that words can’t really express. It needs to be felt. Would love to hear how you do.
Getting clear on what is blocking is one of the big boulders in front of me. I know I’m hiding behind an ever growing list of “TO DO” – i.e. website, opt-in, and the logo, etc. But at the end of the day, I’m having a hard time birthing myself out of this birth canal. I feel the answer is right in front of my nose, but still just out of reach from me.
I feel it’s because I don’t have a clear vision of what is my purpose, my mission in this life. Is that too big of a question, especially when it comes to making a living out of that?
Thanks for posting this!
Vanessa I don’t at all think that is too big of a question. The way I see it, your life purpose is the grander, larger vision for your life. It encompasses the lessons you came here to learn, the gifts you came in with as well as the ones you have been developing through your specific experiences from your life. How you make a livelihood that’s in alignment with your larger purpose is one important aspect of your life purpose. Just the fact that you have been entertaining these questions tells me you are ready and I am excited for the clarity your going to get from us working together.